It's a beautiful day.

The sky is blue, the sun is shining, and there are many things to do. But first...a word from our Sponsor. Actually, our Creator. The verse for the day is this, and I haven't even looked at it yet. It will be a surprise. :-)

Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you. — Jeremiah 32:17

Well, there it is. Whatever it is that you're going through today, God is bigger. He loves you and gave his Son for you! How amazing is that?!?

That's really it, I just went to look something up here on my blog and was reminded that I haven't posted for over a year. Much has happened, but one day I'll catch you up. In the meantime, remember the truths I told you above. It's not *my* truth, it's God's truth.


Something to think about.

What Happens Next?

Life has been a whirlwind since my last post. It was the first of May - and May ended up being one of the busiest months I've had in a long time. On the 4th of May, my dear friend and sister Kari went home to be with our Lord. She passed very early in the morning, and things were just as she had wanted them: her family all around her, except for her kids, who were each with a non-family "family" member. She didn't want them to have to see her in that state, and it was her wish that they not have to go through that part of it. Things were just as she wanted. She was completely coherent until the moment she went home.

I got to see her on the afternoon before she passed; she was alert and coherent; however she was unable to speak (unless it was *absolutely* necessary). She "spoke" with raised eyebrows or short vocalizations. She just didn't have the energy. And that was ok. Because we all knew that she knew exactly what was happening. I got to talk to her a bit, pray with her and for her. I thank God for that privilege.

The next week was when the whirlwind started. Because Kari was a part of a quartet that we sang in together, we were asked to sing at the memorial service. 4 of us gals got together for a couple days before the service to practice a song to sing. At different points in the quartet's history, there were 5 of us who sang at different points in time. We've become a little family. This quartet is one of the greatest blessings God has given me in music. The song we chose was "Circle of Friends", because 1), she was such an important part of our lives, 2), we knew how large a circle she had touched, and 3), it was a song that we knew and (some of us) had sung before and could prepare quickly. :) What a blessing, to be able to sing at the service, and God held us up through the entire song - we made it all the way through without any tears. I know there's no other way *I* would have made it through. (Thank you Lord!!)

So on Wednesday we had the memorial service at our church, and what an amazing sight to see how many people her life had touched. The place was packed, standing room only. There were probably over 600 people there. There were people from all walks of life, and so many people had wonderful things to say about her and how she touched their lives. I think every one of her girlfriends felt like Kari was her best friend. That's just how she affected people. I'm not usually one to claim a "best friend", except for my husband. But I know that for me, she was definitely one of my best girl friends - really, she was a sister. I've said it before. It's simply true. She was one of the people who I felt knew me for who I *really* am - not who I used to be, and not what they *think* I am. Just who I am, now, who God has made me. I appreciated that so much about her.

The day after the memorial service, 3 friends and I got in a van and drove to Montana, to be with her family at her graveside service on Friday afternoon. It was one of the most amazing times. On the 8-hour drive (each way), the four of us bonded, shared memories about Kari, and had a wonderful time sharing "Kari's Montana" with each other. The weather couldn't have been more perfect, and what a blessing to be counted as her family, *by* her family. We were so blessed.

The graveside service was very special; the pastor of her parents' church gave a wonderful message, and a gentleman sang "It Is Well With My Soul" afterward - what a sound, hearing all these people, including many family members, singing along, and the truth of the song ringing through the air. It really *is* well with my soul. God is in control, and for some reason, unknown to us at this time, has a purpose to taking Kari home at this time in her life. Although we have to now live with that "unknown", we still have peace because we understand that God's plan is perfect. We trust in him. It is will with our souls.

After the service, as is a tradition in their family, the sharpies came out and everyone who wanted to was allowed to write a little note on the casket. That was so special. At first I wasn't sure what to think about it, but as it turned out, it was amazing. What a wonderful way to send off one more last tangible thought - to say one "last word".

Later that day we returned to Kari's parents' house up on the hill...they have a beautiful place. We sat on the porch, visited, just had a good time sharing together. Later that night we got to experience another family tradition: Pinecone Baseball. What a fun time together with this family that we love and that accepted us as part of their family. When the day was over and we drove back to our hotel, we all agreed that it was one of the best. days. EVER.

Honestly, I wasn't sure I really needed to go on this trip, I felt I probably had enough closure at the memorial service. But I'm so glad I went, it was so healing, and a wonderful way to bond with these 3 amazing women who I also count as very dear friends. I am so thankful for them, even more now than ever, since we had the experience together saying goodbye to our friend and sister, Kareen.

The next day was my birthday; my girlfriends took me to breakfast, and then we "crashed" a birthday celebration to surprise Selah (Kari's youngest daughter, born on my birthday 12 years ago). After that, we drove the 8 hours home and again, had a wonderful time together.

Kari's Montana: Circle of Friends

The next three weeks were filled with busy-ness! I'm not complaining; don't get me wrong. Not at all. It was just busy. And honestly, I'm not used to "busy". Life is not usually like this for me. :)

First, there was a Classical Conversations Parent Practicum. In a nutshell, it's a parent teaching session for our homeschool community. That weekend we went to Dallas (Oregon) to the Parker Estate (my parents' house). We celebrated Emma's 14th birthday on Saturday, and took in one of my mom's band concerts. The next weekend was my annual yard sale, which is always fun, and since Kari was always involved with us, it was another few days of memories (and garbage trucks). The week after that was the last week of May (thank goodness!). A couple of those days included homeschool testing. The state requires us to have our kids tested every year. So by the end of that week, which was the end of the month, I was so ready for May to be O-VER.

I know it's silly, it's just that I felt like once May was gone, I could relax a little bit. And it's true - June has been much better so far. :) I still have to get my house clean this week, but I feel like it's a job that can be done without quite such a busy schedule.

So that's it. That's what's happened since my last post.
It's been a whirlwind, but it's ok. It's life. Full of ups and downs!

So here's my question: What happens next?

What happens after you lose a friend and sister?
After so many of your friends have also lost the same friend?
After people who are family to you, have lost a wife and mother?

Well, what happens next, is that we keep on keepin' on. We keep moving forward, we keep living our lives. I will live one day at a time, and see what happens. I'll pray that I can be a good wife and mother, friend and sister, by the grace of God. And I will remember that He is in control.

I will remember that no matter what, this fact remains:

God is good, all the time.

It's just a fact.

What it's all about.

What started out as a Facebook status update soon became the beginning of a blog post. So I have brought it here to share. Unfortunately, it's a bit long-winded, but please stick with me, I pray it will be worth the read.

Please pray with me for my friend and sister, Kari, and her family. This woman is one of my closest friends. She is like my sister, her husband is like my brother, we are like second moms to each others' kids. This family is our second family. Diagnosed in late September with aggressive stage 4 uterine cancer, she has been fighting hard for about 7 months now, and it looks as though the end is coming near. And we continue to pray. We pray for healing, for her family, for her to be comfortable, for so many things.

God *can* heal her, we know this is a fact, but will he choose to do so? Of course we selfishly pray for such a miracle. But regardless of how we feel about his plans, we know that they are perfect. He is perfect. He is the blessed controller of all things. His ways are not our ways. We know and trust that he has a perfect plan, and though we pray for healing, and trust that he can do it, we also know that he may not grant that prayer.

We trust in him, and even if we don't get the outcome that we really want, we will trust that he knows best. We will continue to tell ourselves that truth, even if we don't feel like believing it for a moment. Or for several moments. But we will come back to the truth. We'll be real, and because our human, sinful, selfish nature wants to be mad at him for letting this horrible thing happen to our friend, we will still trust in him and believe that he knows best and has our best interests at heart. We will come back to the truth. 

We could choose to spend our days full of sadness that we may soon lose a friend, but I'm not sure that's the way for us to glorify God in this situation. Feeling sad is fine, but I think we are supposed to also figure out what God is teaching us through this. He's been preparing us for this loss for months now, and has been teaching us how to be selfless and helpful and think of others through hard times.

He wants us to see the truth. The truth is this: our lives are but a whisper, a grain of sand, chaff in the wind. We are nothing; he is everything. We deserve hell; he has given us the gift of eternal life. The truth is, he loves us immensely. The truth is, he desires good things for us. The truth is, he is constantly teaching us, molding us, yearning for us to seek him. Our desire should be to become more like Christ through every. little. thing. that happens in our lives. There is no such thing as coincidence. Every moment of our lives, driven by the choices we make, are filtered through God's hands. He will not give us anything that he hasn't allowed to be in our lives.

So what do we do with this? What do *I* do with this? I can tell you what I have been doing with it. All the while praying for God to heal her, either completely or in part, I've been simultaneously mourning the loss of my sister. I've been trying to figure out whether or not that's complete trust in God, or whether it's simply allowing myself to cope. I think it's both. God knows my heart. He knows how much I trust in his miracles, his healing, and his love. He knows, so I really am not worried about what anyone else thinks about how I've been dealing with this. I just pray that in my sharing about it, I can help someone else cope. Even if just a little bit.

Here's the deal. God tells us not to worry. Philippians 4:6-7 have been verses I've strived to live by for almost 20 years now:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

So I take my concern, lay it at the foot of the cross, let the blood of Jesus cover it, and I let. it. go. Of course there are times when that doesn't happen, let's be straight. I'm human, I make {many} mistakes, we all do. But when it comes to this, here's my mindset: I have been commanded not to worry. So I'm not going to spend my days being sulky, sad, mopey, grumpy (or any other dwarf), about this situation. I will mourn. I have mourned. I have moments of despair and sadness. But I will *not* let it bring me down permanently and cause me to believe that God has lost control of the situation.

**Nothing that has happened has been a surprise to God.** 

Satan wants me to believe the lies that I need to make this all about me. He wants sadness and despair to control my life. The blood of Jesus has given me power over those lies, and I will claim that. I will strive to be a positive example for my children, teaching them how to deal with the realities in life. It's ok to feel sad, and to cry, and to mourn, but it's not ok to let it control our lives. God is our refuge and strength, our ever-present help in times of trouble. (Psalm 46:1, most likely a combination of translations.) :)

So as I continue my mourning process, all the while praying for God to miraculously heal my sister so that she can continue carrying on the amazing life she has lead so far, I also continue trusting that God knows best. He *can* heal her, but if he chooses not to, I will trust that he knows what he's doing. No, I don't like it. I don't like the thought of losing a friend, a sister. I don't like the thought of my children losing a "second mom". I don't like the thought of her kids being left without their mom, or my brother without a wife. These people are family to us. And no matter how many times we try to tell ourselves that she'll be going to "a better place", we don't like it.

But, no matter how much I don't like it, my job is not dependent on whether I like what God does. My job, my main goal in life, is to glorify God. My life is supposed to glorify God. Does it glorify God if I'm sitting around, sulking, and selfishly believing lies? I think not. God is not glorified when we let our pride and selfishness rule us. So we trust Him, His power, His majesty, His mercy, His grace, everything that HE is, and we carry on. Blind faith, you say? Maybe. But I'd rather be led by God through blind faith than be led by anyone or anything else. 

Yep. I'm rambling again. It's gotta get out of my head somehow, and this is as good a place as any. I pray that you, the reader, will take something positive from my ramblings. Maybe you're where I am, and you're on the brink of the possibility of losing a loved one - the same one as me, or a different one. Maybe you don't know them, but can just pray for James and Kari's family, and for those of us who are in this situation.

Maybe you have other things that are more pressing in your life, and you'll find some encouragement here. And maybe you and God aren't on speaking terms lately. Whatever the case, I pray that you will see God's hand in your life, that you will see the difficulties in your life as God's way of attempting to bring you closer to him.
Because without him, you won't ever have true happiness or contentment, you'll always be searching for it.
Trust me, you won't find it any other way. If you don't believe me, try it. What have you really got to lose? 

This started out as a quick post to ask people to pray for my friend, and for my family and all of us going through this trial. But you know what? It's not about me. It's not about me at all. God wants me to share this with you, and he wants *you* to see his love for you. That's really what this whole thing is about. God uses stuff like this in our lives to point us to him. It's all about him. Our purpose in life? To Glorify God and Enjoy Him Forever. We glorify God by accepting his love, by sharing it with others, by being examples of his love to others.

This is what it's about.



If you're not familiar with my friend Kari's story, please see her CaringBridge site for more info and the latest updates. Please pray for her situation, especially her family, all of whom are so special to us.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/KariPaskeBennett

It's been a while...

...since my last post.

I know, probably most people don't really even notice. So I'm not worried. I really post on my blog for my own enjoyment and my own sort-of journaling purposes. But anyway, I'd like to post a quick update on life as we know it at the Montgummibear household. This is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a complete or all-encompassing update, but just a few highlights and I will do my best to, sooner than later, post many of the drafts that I've got here in my library of posts, also seen in my mind as things-to-do.

1. This summer we decided to take our kids out of public school and homeschool them. So now I'm not only my kids' first teacher, as I always have been, I'm their actual school teacher too. We're loving this new challenge and really enjoying the time we have together and seeing God's plan for us in the education arena.

2. As a result of No. 1, we get to take fun field trips from time to time, we get to spend more time together, we don't have to get up as early most days, and we are finding new and creative ways to do many of our everyday tasks. Chore break, anyone? Field trip to Target, anyone? King Tut exhibit at Pacific Science Center, anyone? God is good. It's fun, and my kids learn a lot, whether on breaks, field trips (real or imaginary...I know, Target's a stretch...) or in actual "school" study time. :)

3. One of my best girlfriends was recently diagnosed with cancer, so we've really had some interesting changes happen in our family as a result. This family is practically family to us - she is like a sister to me, and all the kids are practically siblings. I'm like a mom to her kids, and she's like a mom to mine. So we do a lot of helping out with picking kids up, and having them over to do school work some afternoons. It's such a blessing to be able to help out this dear friend and her family. It's also a super huge bonus that we "happen" to be homeschooling this year, and our similar-aged kids going through much of the same curriculum. I realized long ago that there are no such things as "coincidence". This is just one example of said "coincidence".

4. God is the Blessed Controller of all things. See No. 1, No. 2, and No. 3.
And No. 5.
And No. 6.

5. There is so much more to update, so I guess I will just do one more. My baby sister Tasha had a baby in March, and she's super cute. Her name is Liliana. They just left from visiting here this weekend.  Lili is 8 months old now, and such a fun, happy baby. Not so much a baby now, since she can crawl around and pull herself up and stand while hanging on to the furniture. You know the age. They're so much fun. If you don't know the age, they're so much fun. Take my word for it, or go find an 8-month-old to watch for a few minutes.

6. I'm tired, and it's getting later and later. So I will have to write more updates another time. Again, there is so much more but I feel like I've at least done my "token" post for now, and hopefully it won't be 7 months between posts again. Or 8 months. Or whatever. One of these days I'll learn to count.

So I will leave you with a picture of my sweet niece, Lili. Or 2. Or 5. I'm telling you, this is the cutest baby *ever*. No lie.

See? I told you.

2008

Well, this isn't going to be a significantly detailed review, but it will touch the highlights of the year I guess. God definitely did some significant things this year...many of which I just have to share. So here goes, the year in (fairly quick I hope) review:

The year started out with Brian still laid off from work - carried over from the end of the prior year. He started working at the beginning of February out at Bechtel (Hanford area), at the Vitrification plant, on a maintenance crew. Basically his job is to help keep the area maintained while the other workers build the Vit plant which isn't supposed to even be operational until 2019 or something like that. So, there is a chance he might be employed for a long time...but there's really no telling, since that's just the way things are out there.

Let's see...I know that at the start of the year we helped lead a class for Financial Peace University (Dave Ramsey) that was held at our church. After going through some significant debt payoff over the past few years, we were asked to kind of be "apprentices" for the class, and now we are actually leading the class this year. It's cool to be able to share our experiences, hopefully God will use us to encourage others in their quest for Financial Freedom.

The summer was different this year; we didn't have the "luxury" of a layoff this summer (we did for the past two summers), so I had to really cut my work hours so I could be home with the girls. It was wonderful for me, I loved it. Work, on the other hand, didn't like it as much. My employers are awesome though, very flexible and they just worked with me so I could be home with the girls and then what probably averaged out to about once a week I would come in to work, bring them with me, and get some work done. It worked out well, since my employers are a husband and wife who run a business out of their home. I'm very thankful for their flexibility!

The biggest thing in the summer was that we decided to put our house up for sale. This was quite a roller-coaster ride to say the least. But God is faithful and got us through it. We weren't sure what to expect, but wanted the most out of our house so we decided to sell it "by owner". We purged the house of extraneous clutter, and two little 5' x 10' storage units later, put it up for sale on July 16. After only 10 weeks on the market we had an interested buyer! So we ended up signing the sale on October 30, and I think it closed on November 3.

During the whole selling process, of course, we were trying to decide where to live next. We have loved a certain house for probably over 8 years; another Aho Construction house plan. Our first house was built by Aho, and we've always loved it. So long story short (too late), we decided to have Aho build another one for us. We found a lot we liked with a flat driveway (Brian's non-negotiable), and gave them the go-ahead to build that house plan we've always loved. It has a laundry room upstairs where the bedrooms are (my non-negotiable), 4 bedrooms, and over 2500 square feet of space - as opposed to our first house which had 1089. We even opted for the 3 car garage with a 4th "bay" in the back, to make even more space for Brian to have his workout equipment.

Keep in mind that all of these things were not decided on easily. Our final lot choice was the 3rd one. We had put earnest money down on one lot, then moved our choice, and then we took our money off completely until we decided for sure whether we wanted to do it. I think God needed us to stop making decisions on our own and let HIM lead them instead. We learned a lot this summer about waiting on God. Wow. But God saved us the perfect lot! It's huge and across the street from a park and has a nice view of the Tri Cities.

So, we told Aho to build our house on October 25 I think. Then it takes them 3 months to build a house. We thought about trying to rent an apartment, but apparently renting has died and now you have to lease a place for 6 months or more. So much for that idea. However, Brian's parents graciously decided to make room for us and we were able to stay there while the house was built! We are so thankful to them for allowing us to do that. It was such a blessing! The girls loved living with Gramy and Grampa, and we were relieved not to have to pay a huge rent bill and to have a roof over our heads.

We drove by our house almost every day - in the morning I would take the girls by and see what they were going to do that day, and then after school we would see all the progress and sometimes get out and walk around. It's amazing how fast a house goes up. Check out the pictures - they're dated and you can see how fast some of it went. Sometime in November we got a letter saying our completion date would be January 20 - less than 3 months after we signed the contract. Pretty cool.

The holidays went by quickly as always. We stayed here for Thanksgiving and traveled to Oregon for Christmas. That was another adventure in itself. On Monday the 22nd we drove from Tri-Cities to The Dalles and spent a night there since the freeway was closed at Hood River. That trip took about 3 hours, only 1/2 hour longer than normal. Then the next day the Gorge opened up and we drove from The Dalles to Dallas. Normally a 2-1/2 hour trip, that took 6. WOW! I think you can find pictures from Christmas if you go to my house albums and then look at the other albums I have posted there. I got some great snow pictures.

When we got to my parents' house, there was still no electricity (hadn't had any since the weekend before), so we got to "rough it" a little bit. That day was my mom's birthday so we went out to dinner that night. The next day was Christmas Eve and we got power back that evening. Christmas was great and we had a good time. The drive home was closer to the usual 5 hour trip.

The last few weeks have been spent planning what to do, when to move, packing things up again, and last weekend we actually got to move into our house. We signed papers last Thursday, got our keys on Friday, and moved in on Saturday. We had lots of help (thanks everybody), and I'm making headway on the unpacking process. It will take a while but we'll get done eventually!

So that recaps the last year pretty well. God really did some cool stuff last year! It's fun to see how some of the things have worked out, especially when I remember how we wondered HOW things would possibly work out at the time. There was so much more detail to most of the stuff I have written but I guess if you really want more detail, you'll ask.

Happy New Year!

Rest In Peace Slinky

We experienced a death in the family. Our little Slinky. Best we can figure, he must have been sick or something. We took him out to feed him (and of course when I say "we" I mean "ME"), and - well - let's just say he didn't make it. I actually picked up a dead snake. Who would do that voluntarily? It was sad, but on Saturday after going to tell the builders to start our house, we went to our new backyard and had a little burial ceremony.

Emma has handled it pretty well. Of course the death of Slinky only means that Slinky No. Two will not be far behind. She is even looking at the bigger versions of the same species...and wants to get one that's significantly larger and eats live rats instead of dead pinky mice. Well, we'll see about that, but we decided not to get another snake until after we move into our new house in February or so. This will save poor Gramy from having a snake in her house. It actually will work out better, one less thing to move. And more time to look for a replacement snake, I guess. :)

Emma is quite the artist, as many of you know. The following two drawings have been on my refrigerator for the past couple of days and I must post them. The cage picture shows exactly what was in there, from the little log he hid under to the water dish (water included) with the little ramp that went down into it. He used to climb the tree thingy and then slither up onto the temperature and humidity dials. Funny.

Enjoy!

Late Nights

You know, it's usually very late at night when I update my blog. Why, you ask? Well, it's because once Brian and the Trolls go to bed, it's party time for me. I can get stuff done with no interruptions! I can play my Lego Indiana Jones X-box game, and then after relaxing with no one asking if they can play with me, I put away the game and do dishes, laundry, and update stuff on the computer. This is how it is with me. I just keep finding more things that I can do and then I end up staying up late. again. The nice thing is that I can usually sleep in, at least for now. I'm not working "in the office" at the moment, since we're getting our house ready to sell. So I'm doing some work from home, while juggling the house stuff, taking the girls to their swimming lessons, and running errands. So again it's late at night and I'm doing things other than sleeping. It usually catches up with me by Saturday morning, when there's no swimming lessons, and I can sleep in even more. But for some reason, I usually get woken up by a troll asking for pancakes or by the neighbor mowing the lawn (not ours, unfortunately), or by a phone call from someone who has no idea that they're disturbing my slumber on a Saturday morning. It's pulling teeth to get this pancake-lover out of bed on a weekday, but on Saturday, she's up bright and early! WHAT is UP with THAT?? I guess it's my own fault for not just going to bed when I know I should. So I suppose I should get to bed, but I really want to get these pictures on my blog so my mom can look at them! They are of my house all shiny and spotless for my house-selling ad. So I will post them and THEN go to bed. So my little troll can wake me up at the crack of dawn (ok, usually more like 9:30) for pancakes.
Yum yum.

Another Pause

Yeah. It's been a while. Again. This is what happens in Life. I get all motivated and add a bunch of blog entries with current pictures, and then I drop the ball again. But I figure that most people honestly are caught up with their own lives, when it all comes down, so it's really not that big of an issue. I suppose if I was all famous and everyone wanted to know me and see my pictures and all that stuff, I'd update this thing more often. But then again, if I was that famous and everyone wanted to know me all that much, I'd probably have someone hired to do this FOR me. Yeah. That's gonna happen. Real soon. I just know it.
In the meantime, I'll just go ahead and add some more pictures. Yeeeeaaaaahhhhh.

Then we'll see what happens.

The Parker Estate

I took these pictures before going on the Great Salamander Hunt...this place is beautiful. It's changed a lot from when I grew up, but it's still awesome.

Dad's Log Truck...

The Skidder...
Pumphouse and garden down to the left, by my grampa's old International truck

The pond, just below Parker Park where Tanya got married


The sunshine is where the "new" property starts

We got cows...



Yay, swimming.



And the loader that I used to run for my dad out logging one summer. It's still fun to deck logs and even help loading trucks...

An impending update...I promise

Dude. I'm so lame. I never update this, and I know there are people looking for updated pictures. Sorry everyone! I'm going to try to update this site more often; I updated it a little bit so I'm hoping that it will be a bit easier to update now. We'll see; but I will make it a priority, nonetheless. I have some fantastic pictures from April when we visited my parents' place, I've got some neat pictures that are some of my absolute favorites that I simply haven't taken time to post. So I am going to do it! Soon! I hope to take some time tomorrow and just do it.

Here's hoping!